Seeing the Moon
by climbergirlio
Summary: What is life like for Roshaun as he holds the place of the Simurgh? This is my interpretation. Set after Games Wizards Play and On Ordeal.


Roshaun opened his eyes groggily and was met with a strange sight. There was fire all around him. _It's a sun,_ he thought. Then he realized it was a sun he had been in. Dairine's sun. _But why am I here?_ The last thing he could remember was trying to burn away the Pullus. Well, that obviously hadn't worked.

Dairine screaming his name rung through his ears. He was surprised that she had put that much emotion tied with his name. He had not guessed that she thought his friendship that valuable, if that was the right word. Well, no matter, he would just transit out. He opened his cupped hand to call upon his Aethyr, but nothing happened. That was no matter, he only needed to reach Earth, and he was pretty sure of Earth's coordinates. He said all the words of the spell, but nothing happened. _Have I burned out my wizardry?_

The thought was a scary one, but he knew what The Speech sounded like if you were not a wizard, and that was definitely not it. It had not lost its magic, so to speak. He opened his cupped hand once more, and this time his Aethyr appeared. He tried wizardry after wizardry, but none took. He was confused as to why this was the case, but it was. He didn't even have a forcefield, so how could he even be alive?

The one thing his Aethyr did tell him, however, was that he was acting as a placeholder for the Exhalation. Then, suddenly his Ordeal came back with unusual clarity. A price that was taking time of his life and using it for a purpose. This, he realized was that purpose.

He became aware of an incoming transit. But who would transit to the middle of the sun? Then, he was shocked to realize they were not transiting to the sun, but the moon. He closed his eyes on a hunch, and sure enough, he was on the moon. Well, his body wasn't and not even all of his consciousness, but part of him was.

The person straightened up and looked around them. It was Nita, but she was alone. Roshaun frantically tried to signal to her that he was there. She saw nothing. She looked all over the moon.

Finally, "Where are you, Roshaun?"

So they hadn't given him up for dead yet. That was good.

"I'm in the sun!" he yelled.

She cocked her head to one side.

"In the sun!"

She obviously hadn't heard him. Or at least hadn't really heard him, which was too bad since she was the only person who was good at hearing invisible voices he knew. Finally, she transited away. Roshaun re-opened his eyes.

Nita was the only person to visit the moon that Roshaun knew. Plenty of other wizards came and went, but none Roshaun knew, so he gave them their privacy. Nita came and went very infrequently, however, and she was alone so he had no idea about much of anything.

Time passed, how much, he had no idea, but it did. His ability to see the moon was growing weaker over time, but was still strong. Upon one check on a transit, he encountered Nita for the first time in quite some time.

"Roshuan, we finally looked and know you're not dead. If you would kindly come back now, Dari's missing you." Nita stayed a while longer, then left.

So Dairine had actually been missing him, then. He hadn't been sure since she hadn't come back to the moon. At least his best friend had not just forgotten he had existed. Because that was what she was, his best friend. The person who never took him seriously, but always did as well. The person he trusted above all others, and who he would walk into a sun for. The first person not in his family to push past his outer facade and reach into the inner Roshaun. Quite literally, since she could hear his thoughts.

More time passed. His connection got weaker, but was still at a mid strength. He felt multiple transits come in at once. He closed his eyes and there was Kit, as well as Ronan, and some people who looked vaguely familiar.

"Finally got enough of the Martian Princesses in skimpy clothing," one of the people elbowed Kit. It brought back the memory from just before he went to Wellakh with Dairine. This kid, Dairine, and either Ronan or Nita, possibly both had been making fun of Kit about Martian Princesses.

Ronan laughed, "now all he wants is to see Neets in those Martian clothes again."

Kit was slowly going bright red, "hey guys! That is _completely_ unfair"

"But true," the kid says.

"And we all know what happened in the end. Neets gave the princess some of the personal information, and it meant that you were attracted to Nita, not her," Ronan adds.

Kit was even redder, "um."

"Well, don't you worry. Miss Yank is all yours, like I said earlier."

Roshaun was puzzled at the odd name for Nita, as it did not really make any sense, but presently more people arrived, and the wizards started off a simulation sort of thing. It was entertaining to watch, at least.

Kit showed up several more times with the same group, and on occasion Nita as well. Roshaun enjoyed watching the way the games played out, as it was a rare source of entertainment.

It became harder to see the single transports, which worried Roshaun. This meant that his ties to the living world were growing thinner. He did not consider his job as place holder as part of the living world because he hadn't really lived. He was never hunger nor thirsty, nor did he grow. It was as if he was suspended in time from the moment he had arrived.

For a while, only single transits appeared, and he looked in briefly. The viewing was blurred, but manageable, and the hearing was somewhat muted. Then, suddenly, it became a bit better. He refused to get his hopes up, but suspected that it meant something had started that would end in his rescue.

From what he could figure, it was probably approximately an Earth week later that a series of transits rushed in. He closed his eyes to see people setting up something right near where he disappeared. This was good, as it was the place where his viewing was the best.

Then, people started arriving. Not too late into this, he felt something almost trying to connect to his mind. He looked around, and saw Dairine. For the first time since the Pullus, she was on the moon. He felt a rush of emotion fall over him. She looked up at the sky, sadness visible in her eyes. She looked down again, and hid it. Then, Roshaun noticed the figures behind her. One was his father. This also sent a wave of emotion through him. The other two were Harry Callahan and Nita. Nelaid and Mr. Callahan set up chairs, and the two girls vanished.

It became increasingly apparent that Neliad and Mr. Callahan had become somewhat close. Roshaun strained to hear what they were talking about.

"Now that all this is almost over, I should like to continue teaching Dairine," Nelaid said.

Roshaun would have widened his eyes if he had any in this state. Nelaid was teaching Dairine? What was he teaching her?

"I think she would like that. She learns so much more from you than I could ever teach her," Mr. Callahan sighed.

"No, that's not true. You're her father. You taught her the most important things anyone can teach," Nelaid said.

"I'm glad she's doing something reasonably safe with her time."

Nelaid nodded, "yes."

"Oh I'm so sorry Nel! I didn't mean it like that!"

"I know you didn't."

"It gets easier, although, it is never by any means alright," Mr. Callahan says, his voice ladened with pain.

Neliad nods.

Roshaun stays there while they sit in peace, both quietly grieving. He tries shouting out once more, but it does no good.

Nita re-appears once more and converses with some kids, then comes over to where Nelaid and Mr. Callahan are. She says something, then vanishes once more.

Soon enough, Dairine appears. At her side is a girl with scarf over her head. Next to them appear Nita, Kit, and someone else new. Three more duos of wizards also appear. Someone walks over to the group and tells one of the wizards what place they will be presenting in. Obviously this is some sort of wizardry competition. Roshaun watches the first two competitors with mild interest. Something to watch is better than nothing, after all, but mostly he looks at either Dairine or his father.

Then, the person who Nita and Kit had arrived with came up. His presentation was on a topic that interested Roshaun. Stars were, after all, his specialty. The presenter began to enact his wizardry, and he sent it upwards. Then, a lot of things happened at once. Nita started yelling, wizards were trying to stop the wizardry from happening, and something comes out of the presenting wizard. Dairine's eyes go wide and she vanishes.

Roshaun takes a moment more to figure out what is going on. Then, he realizes the Exaltation is coming back, and when it does, he will die. He also realizes that Dairine has realized this and is trying to save him. He opens his eyes, and hears her voice, somewhat muted. She is calling him.

He answers, and a hand grabs him. Everything goes dark.

Suddenly he becomes semi-conscious. His father is holding him, and his mother is there. They ask him about what he was doing, and he says something about holding a place. He can feel Dairine a little ways away, and some other voices before he blacks out again.

This time, he re-awakens on his couch. His couch, back in his bedroom, on his planet. Both his parents are there. They talk briefly, but mostly he gets hugged. Nelaid announces he is going to go get Dairine, and Roshaun closes his eyes to rest a bit. It's nice to be able to. Before, closing his eyes meant visiting the moon, and not getting any rest. He didn't need it.

Concern. He feels concern from above him. He opens his eyes slowly and sees Dairine. He feels her mind there once more. It's enough to make him smile. He asks her about what took her so long, and she throws a pillow at him. Then, she practically tackles him in a hug. He can actually feel it too. How long did he spend imagining their reunion? It didn't matter. This was better.

She releases him and they both fill each other in on what they have been doing. She has obviously done more than he has, but that was predictable. He's ridiculously tired and can tell she is too, but they both continue on.

When Roshaun awakes in the morning, he has been covered by a blanket. Dairine is on another couch not too far away. They must have fallen asleep talking. She opens her eyes under his gaze.

"Hey," she smiles at him, and in that moment, everything is perfect.


End file.
